Thursday, 10 June 2010

Shit my kid says

Hello little blog. Sorry I have neglected you for a couple of weeks, I had a rubbish essay to write for a day-job related course. Anyway, it's in now so I thought it high time I wrote something of my own choosing and without Harvard referencing...........

NP xx

Shit my kid says..............
Kidisms. Straight out of the mouth of babes. However you prefer to describe the funny shit kids say. It is funny. My little prince will be three in August and over the past year, as his vocabulary has developed from the smattering of words he had at his second birthday to the almost full sentences he has now, he has come out with some absolute gems.

Following a particularly long forage up his nose one morning, he proudly presented me with some treasure,

N: 'Look! Bogie!'
Me: 'That's nice, I'll get you a tissue'
N: 'Mummy, eat!'
Me: 'Erm, no thank you'
N: 'It nice bogie, Mummy'..........

Whilst wiping his bottom,

'Mummy, stop! I gotta poot!'

Nice of him to warn me before he farted on my hand.

I'm trying to get him out of nappies,

Me: 'Would you like to sit on the toilet before you get in the bath?'

N: 'No. I do my wees in the barf'

He loves our Dogs. He often walks up to them to give them a hug. I recently overheard him say,

'You alwight, darlin? You got Eye bogie? I get it for you'.

He knows them well though. I was complaining about something being a bit stinky earlier, his reply?

'Like Dog fart Mummy?'

The other day, I put a dress on. I don't wear them often,

N: 'You wear pretty dress mummy? You gon do some dancin?'

All kids go through a fussy eating stage (don't they?) The boy is no different. He sits and picks at food, so I ask 'Why aren't you eating that?'

N: 'It bit spicy, I not like it'

I have not taught him that word. The food is not spicy, it's Eggs on toast or something. Now, if something is not to his liking, it's 'spicy'.

Staring at my boobs one morning as I'm getting dressed,

N: 'Mummy, I did drink your boobies when I baby?'

Me: 'Erm, Yes'

Thinks about this for a while, then glances over at the Dogs sleeping on the bed,

N: 'You did give your boobies the Dogs when they puppies?'

I didn't answer that one, I was too busy wetting myself laughing.

Probably his piece de resistance. He's playing and he drops something,

N: 'Fox sake'

I ignore it. (Well, that's what the books say to you're supposed to do).

N: 'Oh, FOX sake!' This time it's accompanied by a gesture of exasperation and a roll of the eyes. He means it. Bless him. Clearly, he *may* have overheard Mummy curse once or twice and he doesn't understand the F word. But he knows what a Fox is.............

I would LOVE to hear some of the funniest things your kids have said. The Little Prince has said far more than I have written here, but I can't remember half of it sadly. Its very possible there will be a Shit My Kid Says 2 at some point. I'm sure most parents could write a book on the subject.


  1. Love this! V has come out with some good 'uns this week - he dropped a car and came out with "Oh scallops!" Think he MAY have meant bollocks... Oh dear.

    "Mummy, let's watch count up" Me: "What?" "You know Mummy, that show with the words and numbers." "Countdown?" "Yes Mummy, when they count them all and say words"

    And the less I say about the Clarkson incident the better... But best of all, and not funny at all, is when he climbs into bed with me in the morning and says "Mummy, you're so pretty. I love you a million dollars" Too much TV? Maybe. Yay to boys!

  2. Brilliant, I love it when my Mo says I'm pretty(when I've put a dress on and actually y'know...made an effort. ) You gotta take it where you can get it!!


Show me some love