Another ten things you didn't know about me....

I have been tagged in another one of those Spanish Inquistion/ Spill your guts type memes. They're a nosey lot the blogging community. Anyway, this time I was tagged by the rather gorgeous Miss Cherry Red. Sorry, Amy for dragging my lazy arse heels about writing this. Here are the ten questions I've been asked this time...

1. Are you a meticulous planner?

In a word, no. I wish I was. I've always been disorganised, lazy even and I leave everything to the last minute. This also means that I'm nearly always late for everything (except work, I seem to manage to be punctual for that). Including my own wedding. I was forty five minutes late. Instead of gazing lovingly down at me and telling me how beautiful I looked, Mr Nudie simply grunted 'You made it then'.

2. Do you wear make up and if so how much and how often?
I wear as little as I can possibly get away with. You've read my answer to the previous question. How much later do you think I would be if I needed to apply layers of war paint every morning? Admittedly, as I'm getting older it's harder to get away with a completely bare face and I wouldn't dream of going to work without Mascara (I get up at 05.15 people, do you want me to scare the children?).

I've just never particularly liked the overly made-up look. I was blessed with a clear complexion and it always seemed a shame to cover it up. These days though, with three years of sleep deprivation and early starts behind me, I think I need to up my game.

3. What, if anything, do you wear in bed?
Hey?! What's my name? I wear nothing in bed. Nada, zilch, zero. Nudie

4. Look over your right shoulder, what do you see?

My garden. The computer is in one of the bedrooms at the back of the house, and the desk is next to the window. I can also see into my next door neighbours garden. Not so nice. He's a right lazy bastard and it's a bit of a mess, quite frankly.

5. If you had to take a random item to an interview to help describe you, what would it be?I have thought long and hard about this and I can't think of a single thing worth writing down. Next!


6. What film would you have liked a starring role in?
Debbie does Dallas? Kidding. Something with a hot male lead in it, so I could do rumpy pumpy with him. Has Rupert Penry Jones been in any films? Whatever that film was then. With lots of extra love scenes please.

7. Jimmy Stewart or Cary Grant?
Hmm. I think Cary Grant was probably the better looking of the two. He had a rather fetching dimple on his chin. I like those. He was however, rumoured to be Bi-sexual.

8. Do you swear in front of children?
Oops. Have you read my post 'Shit my kids says?' I have a potty mouth, I won't deny it but I do try and curb my language in front of the Little Prince. He's a little Parrot at the moment, so I have to be careful. Clearly, one or two swears may have slipped out.........For example, he plays with my iphone a lot and it's not uncommon for him to be navigating his way round it, not find what he wants and exclaim 'Oh, for Foxes sake'.....

9. Do you knit or sew or do any other ‘womanly’ craft?
I bake cakes on occasion, does that count? I only really do that because I LOVE CAKE. Ahem.

10. Twitter or Facebook?

Twitter, without question. I have a Facebook account, but I really only use it to keep in touch with the friends I left behind in London and because I have family in Ireland and Australia that require regular updates on the Little Prince.

I read a tweet last night that is doing the rounds on Twitter at the moment. It went something like this: 'Facebook is for friends who have become strangers. Twitter is for strangers who have become friends'. 

So true.
Alternatively, another way of putting it, I spotted this tweet by the enduringly eloquent @LarneLoudmouth 'Facebook is a quick wank. Twitter is a fucking great blowjob'.

Thats it. Another ten things you didn't know about me before today. In the true spirit of a meme I must tag a couple of other bloggers to answer ten questions of my choice. I tag:

Ria over at Continental Fairy

Jenny over at Mummy Mishaps

Ok Ladies, here are your questions:

1. What is your porn star name?(Name of your first pet & your Mothers maiden name).

2. Your most delectable piece of lingerie?

3. Be a famous person for a day - who and why?

4. Your neighbour's dog chews up your prized, and very expensive, Manolos. What do you do?

5. If you could only eat three things for the rest of your life, what would they be?

6. Caught speeding. How do you get out of it?

7. Secret crush as an adult?

8. Which side of the bed do you sleep on?

9. Snog, Marry, Avoid?

10. Rudest word you have in your (child-free) vocabulary?

 I'm not going to pretend I thought of these myself. Most of these are the questions London City Mum set me the first time I did this meme. I just think they ellicit answers that are way funnier than the ones above. What are you waiting for? Off you go!

Ten things you didn't know about me (until now).

I have been tagged by the lovely and very funny, London City Mum in one of those Spanish Inquistion stylee type tags. This basically means that she gets to ask me and four others ten questions about absolutely whatever takes her fancy. Thankfully, none of them are too rude. I can't promise the same of my answers...........

1. Name of your first pet?

Moby Dick. For real. I should point out that he was a Fish. Would have a been a pretty stupid name for a Spaniel.

2. Your most delectable piece of lingerie?

Wouldn't that be telling? Ah yes, I am required to answer these aren't I. Well, back in the day, Mr Nudie used to buy me the occasional set of lingerie. I say back in the day, not because he no longer buys me gifts- he does, but these days- post episiotomy I am Big Panty Woman. Try making a sexy gift out of those bad boys. Anyway, I digress. Imagine my surprise and delight when one day, I opened a parcel to find the ubiquitous pink and black box synonymous with Agent Provocateur. Mr Nudie, I thought, you have done well. Then I opened the box. Inside, I found a half cup bra and a pair of matching crotchless panties. Delightful. For those unfamiliar with half cup bras, allow me to explain. They do what it says on the tin. There is half a cup, you bend forward only slightly and your tits fall out. I think that's the point of them though. The crotchless panties need no explanation (I hope). His response 'You buy yourself underwear. I buy you funderwear'. Of course. Silly me for even thinking I could work a twelve hour day in a half cup bra...............

3. Be a famous person for a day - who and why?

Ooh. This is a tricky one. I don't care much for celebrities. You'll never find me flicking through OK! or HELLO magazine. I lived in Hampstead for seven years where they are two a penny. I even bumped into (literally) Jude Law once on a zebra crossing. Not bothered. Ok, that was a lie. He was HOT.
 I wouldn't particularly like to be famous, imagine living your life in the public glare? No thanks. However, If I had to choose one famous person to be I would probably go all out and be Madonna. Not because I admire her or even particularly like her, but because she is as famous as it's possible to be. If I'm only doing this for one day, I want it all- the entourage of minions catering to my every whim, billion dollar wardrobe, the lot. Failing that, I think I'd be happy just to be Dervla Kirwan because she gets to shag my answer to  question 7 every night.

4. Your neighbour's dog chews up your prized, and very expensive, Manolos. What do you do?

This is a hypothetical question, as I'm highly unlikely to ever own a pair of Manolos and if I did, my own daft Dog would probably eat them before my neighbour's would. Quite honestly though, those shoes are so damned expensive I'd be tempted to wait for the pieces to come out at the end of their journey and stick them back together. Seriously.

5. If you could only eat three things for the rest of your life, what would they be?

I've often thought about this. Well, I think about food a lot. I wonder what I would choose as my last meal if I knew it was my last day on earth and I could have absolutely anything I wanted. I'll answer this question as if it were a three course meal. To begin, I would have Insalate Caprese. You know the Italian salad of Avocado, Mozzarella and Tomato? I love that, so simple. I could eat it all day and not tire of it. Secondly, I would have Scallops served on a base of Cauliflower puree. Not as icky as it sounds. This is a traditional French way of serving Scallops and I was lucky enough to eat it once at the Plaza Athenee in Paris. Sublime. I would have that for dinner every night if I could. Lastly, my choice of dessert is not especially refined, but I could eat Dime bars until they come out of my ears. Love them. I'm hungry now. 

6. Caught speeding. How do you get out of it?

Another hypothetical one- I can't drive. I would make like a scout and be prepared, of course. It would be a hot policeman and I would be wearing my half cup bra, *leans over the bonnet* 'I'm so sorry officer, was I going too fast?'.......

7. Secret crush as an adult?

No hesitation here. Rupert Penry-Jones (the actor from Spooks). Yum. It's no secret that I have the hots for him, I started a Facebook group a couple of years ago called 'I want to marry Rupert Penry-Jones and have his babies'. I did. Go and look. Subtle eh?

8. Which side of the bed do you sleep on?

The right hand side, nearest the door (good to sneak a Dog in for a cuddle once the Mr is asleep). The ensuite is on this side of the room too. Very handy when pregnant (or drunk) to stagger out in the middle of the night for a pee without bumping into anything.

9. Tom Cruise: kiss, marry or send to live permanently with the Pope?

I do not like short men. Fact. I have never understood Tom Cruises appeal to be quite honest, and the Scientology thing? Wacko. Send him to live with the Pope. I'd love to be a fly on the wall whilst they  debate God versus the Aliens creating the earth.

10. Rudest word you have in your (child-free) vocabulary?

 Had to ask that didn't you.?!.......I have several (anyone reading this follow me on Twitter after the watershed?). I use the C word a lot. A lot of people (women mainly) seem to have a real problem with this word. I don't, it's just a word. I don't use it in a sexual context, I agree that used like that it's pretty vulgar. No, I would say 'what a C***'. Or something. I'm not a trackie bottomed wearing harridian who shouts expletives at her kids in the street. I'm a normal, vaguely middle class-ish professional person with an otherwise good command of the English language. If a few profanities slip into my everyday conversation, so be it. I also love the words Cock, Wank, Minge and Fuck.

Oh, and I have a childish, slightly crass sense of humour. I am as likely to be found reading my (equally childish and crass) husbands copy of Viz as I am the Sunday Times.  

If you want to read the answers that the four other bloggers have left to these questions ( I haven't yet, it would have felt like cheating) they are: Nickie at Typecast, Carly at Mummy's Shoes, Tattooed Mummy and Heather at Notes from Lapland. Enjoy.